Therapist:

“To help us understand how we’ll be working together, I like to share a simple framework called the ABC model. It explains why two people can experience the exact same event, but walk away feeling completely different.

Here is how it breaks down:

“A” stands for the Activating Event. This is the situation, trigger, or event that happens in the outside world — like receiving a blunt email from your boss, or someone cutting you off in traffic.

“B” stands for your Beliefs and Thoughts. This is the internal dialogue or subconscious rulebook your mind uses to process what just happened.

“C” stands for the Consequences. This is what you actually feel emotionally (anxiety, anger, sadness) and what you do behaviorally (snapping back, avoiding, shutting down).

Most of us naturally assume that A directly causes C — that the boss’s email made us anxious, or the traffic made us furious.

But in our sessions, we focus on B. The event (A) sets the stage, but it’s really the thoughts, interpretations, and rules we hold (B) that drive our emotional and behavioral reaction (C).

The great news about this is that while we can’t always control external events (A), we can learn to identify, evaluate, and change our response at (B). That’s where you gain your leverage and emotional freedom back.”

A Quick Concrete Example to Share

Scenario: Imagine two people are scheduled to give a presentation at work tomorrow (the Activating Event - A).

Person 1 thinks: “I’m going to mess up, and everyone will think I’m incompetent.” (Belief - B) → Consequence (C): High anxiety, sleepless night, over-preparing until exhausted.

Person 2 thinks: “This is a challenge, but I know my material, and even if I stumble, it’s not the end of the world.” (Belief - B) → Consequence (C): Moderate nervousness, focused preparation, restful sleep.

The Key Takeaway: The situation (A) was identical, but the belief (B) completely changed the emotional consequence (C).

💡 Bridging into the Session:

“Our goal in therapy isn’t to pretend bad things don’t happen, but to spot those unhelpful ‘B’ thoughts when they pop up and build more flexible, realistic beliefs that serve you better.”